Most Treasured

Though originating in prehistoric times, today this gesture still serves the same purpose. That is to express gratitude, love, and respect, to commemorate important dates, and to fulfill social responsibilities while strengthening bonds between people. Although the tokens involved may have changed, the meaning behind them has not. And this time of year, with holidays celebrated around the world, engaging in this event is most prevalent. I’m referring to the simple act of gift giving.

It’s thought that gifts were first offered to form alliances between groups. Long ago, shells, bones, and tools were among the treasures exchanged. Gifts were also significant in religious ceremonies to honor and show loyalty to deities. During festival times, Roman patrons were showered with presents by their clients to demonstrate their reverence. As far as holiday gift giving goes, blending pagan traditions with the Christian story of the Magi who bestowed gifts upon Jesus, the idea of offering presents to others was formalized. In Victorian times, exchanging presents became a family centered activity, mainly for the well-to-do. But when the Industrial Revolution came along, the ability to mass produce affordable items such as toys and appliances, made gift giving accessible to a broader range of people. Add to that the popularization of Santa Claus in the 1800s here in the states, and department stores like Macy’s marketing goods as holiday gifts, consumerism got a big boost and it’s still going strong today.

While this gesture may seem altruistic, that’s not the whole picture. If you’re the giver, there’s a sense of satisfaction and even joy that comes when you select and hand a present to someone. It can trigger what’s known as a “helper’s high”, that feeling you get when you make someone smile. This warm glow is a result of endorphins being released and dopamine being stimulated in your brain which is tied to our feelings of reward and pleasure. And if you’re the receiver, you get an extra bonus. Besides getting a present, you may get that feeling of being cared for, loved, and valued.

From my journal: December 23, 1991, Hillsboro, Oregon

“…baked cookies for JoAn. She loved them. Gave Dee her basket today, and will bring Mary’s on Wednesday…I love gift giving – lots of fun for me!”

As mentioned in my journal entry, I’ve loved giving gifts, especially homemade or handmade ones. For years, I created cards, food gifts, and goodie baskets with curated items to offer others. Most often I knew what I wanted to give, but when I needed an idea, all I had to do is consult a list. Today these lists are most often linked to a website and I have to say, I’m amazed at how expansive these sorted lists have become! Categories can include but are not limited to presents for: co-workers, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandmoms, grandads, godparents, friends, pet owners, and other relatives. There are age specific ones, for babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, adults, middle aged folks, and seniors. Interest and profession related ones may list ideas for: plant lovers, music lovers, writers, artists, readers, chefs, teachers, singers, actors, librarians, doctors, gardeners, hostesses and more…so much more!

While I do enjoy being the giver, being the receiver is terrific, too. Pens, paper, journals, and books are presents that make me jump for joy. However, the older I get there is one present that I value now more than any other.

From my journal: December 25, 2011, written while in Lee, Massachusetts

“…spent Christmas Eve at Ray’s house…Ray and Meghan cooked, hope to see Rich, Hannah, and Michelle tomorrow, Adrienne and Paul too…everyone else was there…mom, Dick, Donna, Bryant, Erin, and David…laughed so much my face hurt…loved being with them…”

This was the last holiday all of us spent together. My younger brother, brother-in-law, and my mom’s longtime partner have passed on since then. So now when I think of the simple act of gift giving, that is, a present I want to give, or one that I want to receive, there is only one. That is: time. Time to spend with the ones I love. This is the gift I treasure most.