New-Fangled Language

The date was December 3, 1992. While I had just started my first job in the non-profit industry as an Assistant Director of Development with the Senior Coordinating Council in Palo Alto, California, something life-changing happened in the UK. Most likely, more than one amazing thing occurred that day, but the one I am referring to is the one that changed how people communicate. A young software developer and test engineer, Neil Papworth, sent the very first ever text message to his co-worker Richard Jarvis at Vodaphone. It read: “Merry Christmas.” A big deal. A very big deal indeed.

In the decades that followed, telecommunications companies realized the value of this Short Message Service (SMS) and began offering text messaging to their customers. As mobile phones became more widely popular and available, people welcomed this new way to communicate. Next came the development of Multimedia Messages (MMS) that let users send text and multimedia content such as pictures, videos, audio clips, and emojis. Then there was the birth of apps and platforms like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and WeChat that offered interactive elements such as group chats and voice and video calls. Now Rich Communication Services (RCS) is the industry standard that includes enhancements like typing indicators and multimedia sharing. And…here we are today!

With all these technological developments in the last 30+ years why, oh why has it taken me so long to catch on? I mean I can text, and I do text every day. The only problem is it hurts my eyes to see the English language diminished to “txt spk”. I know our language isn’t perfect. It has rules, then exceptions to those rules, and quirks, and letter combinations and sounds that don’t even seem to make any sense. I freely admit it. I mean, if the plural of goose is geese, why isn’t the plural of moose, meese? Why the silent letters in thumb, height, and knead? What about homophones such as: vain, vein, and vane? And the pronunciation of words like bologna, colonel, and pseudonym? It’s ENUF to make anyone communicating in English CRA Z!

But for the life of me, I can’t embrace this new-fangled communication. The ins and outs of our language are instilled in me. They are a part of my DNA. Whenever I am engaged in any form of written communication – be it a letter, a note, or text, I am compelled to pen complete sentences, correct any spelling errors, use the right punctuation and use all parts of speech as intended. And I love, adore, and cherish adjectives and sensory details! I just can’t help myself.

From my journal: June 3, 2024, Newbury Park, California

“Even the LA Times puzzles have clues with text word answers…YOLO, FOMO, FWIW…yikes!”

But alas, my lack of getting fully on board has led to responses to my texts that are perhaps meant to be helpful but honestly leave me frustrated. And even more so after having to take a half hour using my “Teenage Texting Abbreviations & Acronyms” and “SMS English” sheets to decipher what the sender is actually trying to tell me. VSF.

I’ll give you an example…

Me: Hello, dear friend! I hope your week is off to a splendid start! What fun and exciting activities did you partake in on Saturday? The latest flick? Maybe a Marvel movie? Aren’t they just marvelous?! The usual breakfast out with family? Doesn’t the Waypoint Café have the most delectable lemon ricotta pancakes?  If you went, did you sit inside the restaurant or outside with the view of the Camarillo Airport? How about those pop-up concerts around town. F-U-N! Did you and your husband happen to catch Scythian at Kimber Park? I heard the Celtic music and lyrical storytelling were like a rousing barn-dance rock concert! We must see a show together before the summer is over. I’m free for coffee any morning after 10:15 a.m. this week. Let me know if you are, too. Look forward to seeing you soon. Text me when you can!

Responder: GR8 WKND!

And before I could answer back…

BTW, OT re UR MSG SMH b/c TMI & 2Lng IYKWIM. ATM IM AFK & CTN. FWIW IMHO DNT TXT, let’s MIRL ASAP. TMRW? IAC HTH HAND. GTG.YW!

Really? Yes, RLY. Times have changed and I know I need to get with the program and accept this new-fangled way of communicating. So, my apologies go out to the English language, flaws and all…at least as far as texts go.

Sry. W/ TIME I say TTFN. TC. I will mu! L8r, BF. PLZ no ILY. Hags. XOXO.