There’s a Job for That?

Painting my toenails recently, I happened to notice the black print on the white screw top of the Essie polish bottle in my hand.  It read: “bare with me”. It was of course, a beige tone. Then I looked in my cosmetic stash for the polish I used earlier this summer and found a cheerful shade of pink and orange. It’s name: “beachy keen”.  I guess when it comes to buying nail polish I consider the color, not the name. But then I got to thinking, is there a specific job for doing just that?  Curious, I did a little research. And yes, in fact, cosmetic companies do hire Nail Polish Namers who typically earn around $30,000 per year. Who knew? I also learned that one of the best in this field is Suzi Weiss-Fischmann, a Hungarian American businessperson aka the “First Lady of Nails”. Her most popular nail polish name?  “I’m Not Really a Waitress” – ha! As you might guess, it’s a sultry shade of red.  If you are interested in this line of work, you don’t need a formal education or training, but possessing strong creative skills could nail you this job!

Right on the heels of that discovery, came another.  Robert and I were bumping along in a cart on the grounds of Wood Ranch Golf Club. When he struck the ball from the tee on Hole 4, I didn’t see where his shot landed. But soon after, I knew where he was headed. Carrying a lightweight rod that extends to about 14 feet and has a spring release to tightly secure a ball, he approached the pond to the right of the fairway. This is when my mind was totally blown. He succeeded in rescuing his, as well as someone else’s golf ball, then proceeded to tell me that there are professional golf ball retrievers. What? Really? People who actually dredge up balls from bodies of water on golf courses?

From my journal, July 15, 2022 Newbury Park, California

“Out on the course yesterday…Robert wasn’t kidding. I looked it up. Golf ball retrievers exist!”

It turns out, golf ball retrievers don’t use the gadget Robert does, instead they don wet suits and scuba gear, and dive into ponds and lakes to collect balls. These items are then cleaned, repackaged, and resold. Talk about the ultimate recyclers! If you are a certified scuba diver and enjoy immersing yourself into murky waters, and can dodge hazards, in some cases, alligators and snakes, you too, can rake in upwards of $100 per hour! A once unemployed Floridian named Glenn Berger claims to make a substantial living doing this work. How much? He says he nets $15 million dollars a year!

Rounding out my recent job revelations, is one that came to me via the screen of our LG TV. After seeing a commercial for yet another product promising to moisturize, smooth, and brighten my skin, leaving it glowing like that of the celebrity endorsing this miracle brand, I thought, “Is there a person whose job is it to either prove or refute these claims?” Drum roll, please….yes, there is! Known as “face feelers”, these sensory scientists use their hands to determine the before and after effects of creams and lotion applied to skin. Judy Helymun, a sensory scientist for over 40 years, and president of Fore Sense + One, said a candidate must have keen tactile sensitivity and the ability to feel minute changes in the skin. If interested, you will also have to complete a course in Sensory Science and Consumer Testing. So if you meet the criteria and are the touchy-feely type, this job could be yours. And for your effort, you’ll be handed $10 to $25 per hour.

While I am not currently looking for work, should the need arise, I know these and many other jobs I had never thought of, do exist, and are just waiting for the right person to come along and fill them.